did u write that?

what makes u say that?

*walks in* Hey there everybody!

*Doug parks outside on his motorcycle. He's a silver, black-spotted shorthair Oriental cat. He's dressed in dark blue jeans, leather combat boots, a black Arch Enemy T-shirt, an open black flowing leather trench coat, arm-length fingerless gloves on his arms,  chrome knuckles on his left arm, a black leather collar, and a black leather tail bracelet. He has several piercings on his ears; the tip of the right one was bitten off. He has a hospital ID tag clipped to his belt, alongside a Blackberry. He has a long, high-tech handgun strapped to his left thigh. He looks very nervous, because he's not sure if the wolves will be kind to a cat. He walks up to the barrista.*

Doug: How much would a triple cappuchino and a chocolate brownie cost? I really need something for the lethargy my Benadryl's giving me.
Barrista: $20, sir
Doug $20?! What is this, a movie theater? I could get an entire steak sandwich at the place next door for less.
*Opens up his messenger bag, and rifles around his laptop and documents to find his checkbook. This takes several minutes, causing a line to form behind him. He then begins writing out a check*
Barrista: Sir, we don't take checks. Do you have a debit card or cash?
Doug: Yes.

*Doug swipes card at terminal. An error message flashes*

Doug: I believe my card got demagnetized when I was running that MRI earlier.
Barrista: Do you have cash?
Doug: If I had cash, I'd be eating by now.
Barrista: Can you wire the money?
Doug (hissing): I'm not paying $15 to send an outgoing wire transfer for an $20 snack! Forget it.
Barrista: Then you're obviously not hungry. Have a nice day, sir.

*Doug hisses, then quickly goes to the nearby Sam's Club, and collects all the free samples, and brings them back. He then finds an empty table, opens up his laptop, opens up a file containing an MRI of a brain. He begins writing a report of the images, which he then emails. He finishes up, closes his laptop, and begins walking around, trying to share some of his free food*

Doug: Hey guys! Anyone like three-chesse Florentine ravioli? I've got at least seven raviolis, free from Sams Club!

Last edited by Protoman2050 (2009-12-24 01:36:44)

theroadwolf wrote:

walks over to the stranger
"hello, name is roadwolf, im like the sherriff of these parts, i'll shout you any drink you want if you give me one of those raviolis'

Doug: "I'll have a Cuban Missle Crisis, neat. Here's your ravioli!"

*Hand's the ravoli cup to roadwolf*

Doug: "Are there any positions in HOWLE for a criminal intelligence analyst; I'm a forensic neuropsychiatrist. Those MRIs you saw me writing about were part of a research study I'm doing about whether sociopathic murders have reduced activity of certain brain areas. I'd love to assist you guys in your duties of law enforcement in the colony by helping you determine who'd most likely offend, so you can increase your surveillance of that individual, or determining what sort of person would commit a particular crime, or many other interesting things. Like running a secure criminal psychiatric ward for violent offenders with mental illness, or fabricating mental illness diagnoses so we can simply put offenders on high-dose neuroleptics, so we can place the bars and shackles inside the offender's mind, instead of wasting thousands of dollars per prisoner on housing and security personnel. And besides, no-one would EVER suspect a werecat of being a member of HOWLE...what could a little housecat do to a powerful wolf, or a rebellion of the colonists against the Imperial law? Or even the humans who stalk us and believe we are bloodthirsty autistic monsters...like the ones in the human military that kidnapped me from my family during an outing to the park when I was a small kitten, and did ruthless experiments on me, like putting me on powerful neuroleptics that made me unable to string thoughts together, or vivisecting me, or using me as a test subject for cybernetic implants. I only got one small, cold meal each day, my cell made a supermax prison cell look like a resort, and they took my stuffed animal away when I got there, saying I was too old for it! And they put a shock collar on me everytime I was led out for exercise, I have a permanent scar on my throat! They will pay severely!"

*Doug  cackles manically, showing his teeth, and causing his glasses to hang lop-sided from his face. Everyone else stops their activity to stare for a few minutes. They then resume whatever they're doing. He then re-adjusts his glasses just so*

Doug: "Sorry about that. I also have in my possesion a terawatt handheld terahertz pulsed ultraviolet laser that could burn a 1 inch diameter hole straight through 10 inches of graphite, the most refractory material we know of, from 100 yards away, in around a few milliseconds."

*Doug pats his gun holster*

Doug: "It could do FAR worse to steel, or titanium. Imagine what it could do to rebel tanks, or body armor. I'm also an amateur engineer in my spare time. What do you say? May I join your ranks as a Special Agent, or at least a consultant?"

*Doug extends paw to roadwolf*

Doug: "I've also heard you're quite the mechanic around these parts. Do you mind looking at my Ducati Multistrada 1200S bike? I think the traction control isn't working properly, I almost fell off during a turn I normally could take. Don't look at me like I'm still using training wheels, you can never be too safe. Unless you ride in bubble wrap and foam, looking more like a FedEx package than a biker."

*Doug chuckles to himself at the last comment*

Doug: "I'd also like to see if I can put a turbocharger and nitrous oxide on it."

Last edited by Protoman2050 (2009-12-24 01:59:38)

"oh i forgot we happen to have in orbit a facility that might interest you, we call it "the last resort" a 1000 prisoner facility that is surrounded by an force field that we call "the justice field" which prevents any act of injustice basicaly if you get sent there and try to set fire to your cell you get burned instead of the sheets, but it is only used as a last resort"

"ok. now give me a few hours"

*takes the bike into the workishop and tinkers away*
(two hours later)

"heres your bike back, i completely rebuilt the brakes and fixed the prblem with the ABS and you know have a little more power courtesy of a hidden nos bottle under the seat"

"well as soon as the pen hit the paper it was being processed"  (sorry i was late in responding, i have been getting my new fursuit repaired)

Sigh it's quiet around here these days

*I look up from my writing*

Oh, there's people here again. Maybe things'll pick up a little now, again. This place's been all but deserted lately.

*I take another sip of coffee*

Dunno, better things to do, maybe. Maybe they've forgotten about this place, or maybe there's just nothing more for them to say. Ah well, it's all the same to me, I'm not going anywhere.

Nah, you get all types in here, it was starting to empty out a long time ago, really.